A year ago, she begged me to stay.
A year later, it’s my turn to beg her not to go.
My obsession. My downfall.
I tried to resist, to keep her at a distance.
I tried to save myself.
But no one will be saved here, not even a selfish bastard like me.
My life has always been about sport and family, including my stupid brothers. Until that night, the night I made the worst decision of my life. And I’m still paying the price for it.
We both are.
But the time has come to take back control of the situation, to risk it all, to convince her to let me in, because she can’t be anything other than mine.
I am Ian O’Connor, and I’m about to accept this challenge: to try and hold on to the only woman I’ll ever be able to love.
And even if I already know how this badly written romance is going to end, I won’t back away. This time, I’m going all the way. Because I only want her.
And I have no intention of losing her.
I’m an O’Connor, and the O’Connors never lose.
I’ve gone back: back to the place where it all started, where somebody else had the final say.
I did it out of love for my family.
I’m trying to rebuild my life, to stay standing, even though my legs hurt like hell. Concentrating on myself, on my career.
I’m ready to tear everything apart to try and keep it all together. To hate without feeling guilty for it, because hating others is the only way I know how to keep myself – the person I am – going; and I was doing it.
I was strong. Untouchable. Invincible.
Actually, I was deluded.
I didn’t consider everything. I didn’t consider her: the only woman I really want to hate, but who gives me hope. A woman who turns your world upside-down, who entwines herself into your life even if she can only stay until tomorrow.
I’m not looking for tomorrow: I want a future. But I don’t believe in that anymore.
And I can’t turn back, not even for her.
My name is Ryan O’Connor, and I’m about to make a huge mistake. I’m about to let her believe in me, to take a chance. But she’d be betting on the wrong man. I’ve never been the right one. And she’ll be left accepting her bitter defeat.
“Tell me that everything’s okay,” he says seriously. “Tell me that this time no one’s going to run away or regret this or lose their mind over it.”
I look at him and smile. “None of those things are going to happen.”
He exhales and caresses my face with his hand.
“Riley Murray, you’re breathtaking, you know that?”
My heart swells in my chest.
“You’re not so bad yourself.”
He laughs, rolling onto his back and bringing me with him. I lie down and stretch out alongside him, resting my head on his chest. Caress his pecs, his shoulders and his arms. I hear him sigh every time I change the movement.
“Do you want to know what I really like?”
He turns his head to look at me better. I raise my gaze and let myself be taken in by the warmth in his eyes.
“This. You and me.”
He exhales deeply as if he had been holding his breath this whole time.
“I’m begging you, please don’t leave me in the middle of the night.”
And in this moment, with his eyes as sweet and melancholy as I’ve ever seen, Ian O’Connor takes my heart and I know he’ll never give it back.
A.S. Kelly was born in Italy but lives in Ireland with her husband, their two children and a cat named Oscar.
Bookworm, English Literature lover, music passionate, coffee drinker, she lives in a small village in the North of Dublin, where she looks for inspiration for her new stories.
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